nut hugger
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Randomize
