I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
