"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
