Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
