No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
