Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
