So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
