You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
