Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
