i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
