Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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