The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
My liver just broke up with me...
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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