I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
4 words: hood of his car
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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