She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Randomize
