oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
