Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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