The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Randomize
