ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
