There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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