I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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