at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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