i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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