we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize