My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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