Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
lol hangovers are for mortals.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
