My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
