he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
