In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
