he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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