Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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