i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
