he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
