I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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