Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
