She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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