Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
