What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
