dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
