Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
