just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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