at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
