Sober January is a disaster.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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