We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
