hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
