i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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