"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
