i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
