Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
