And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Randomize
