So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
