Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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