So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
